Jokes?HELP!!!?

Dexter Dicostanzo: Two Jewish men, "Sid" and "Al," were sitting in a Mexican> restaurant. Sid asked Al, "Are there any people of our faith> born and raised in Mexico?">> Al replied, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter.">> When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any> Mexican Jews?" and the waiter said, "I don't know Senor,> I'll ask the cooks.">> He returned from the kitchen in a few minutes and said "No> sir, no Mexican Jews.">> The waiter, realizing he was dealing with "Gringos" gave the> expected answer, "I will check again, Senor!" and went back> into the kitchen.>> The waiter returned and said, "Senor, the head cook said> there is no Mexican Jews.">> "Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replied the exasperated waiter.> "All we have is orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape> Jews."...Show more

Demetrius Coaster: What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

Ilana Gaster: A man goes to his doctor for a followup visit. He asks the doc, "Well, what's! the deal doctor?" The doctor replies, "Jim, I have bad news and I have worse news. What do you want first?" Jim says, "I suppose give me the bad news first." "Okay," says the doctor, " I 've recieved all your test results and lab work and from what I can tell you have 24 hours to live." "24 hours to live!!??" "That's the bad news?" "What in the world could possibly be worse news that that?" "I've been trying to get a hold of you since yesterday."...Show more

Hal Rouse: This joke is awful, but you could tell your grandma, so it works in a lot of situations: what's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.

Davina David: Successful SonsFour men got together to play golf one sunny morning. As they were heading out to the course, one of them was detained by a phone call.The other three were discussing their children while walking to the first tee."My son," said one proudly, "has made quite a name for himself in the home building industr! y. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and co! nstruction firm. He's so successful, in fact in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."The second man, not to be outdone, boasts how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "He's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave a friend two brand new cars as a gift."The third man brags that his son has worked his way up through a stock brokerage firm, and has become so successful that in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.As the fourth man arrives at the tee box, the three smugly tell him that they have been discussing how successful their progeny are, and ask what line of work his son is in."To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased how my son has turned out," he replies. "For fifteen years, he's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's gay."As the other three recoil in horror, he continues, "but on the bright side, he must be good ! at what he does, because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two new cars, and a big stock portfolio."...Show more